A bostin Black country story sent to me by Jayne Howarth.

There was this wench called Mary and ‘er lived in a place called Nazareth. One day ‘er mom went out and ‘er was left to do the ‘ousework.

All of a sudden the room went all bright and when ‘er turned round ‘er saw somebody standin’ by the winder. ‘Er weren’t arf surprised and nearly fell off ‘er chair.

“Oom yo?” ‘er asked. “Yo day arf give me a turn!”
“Doh be scared,” answered the bloke. “I wo ‘urt ya. Me name’s Gabriel and I’m an angel.”
“You ‘ay am ya?” asked Mary.
“I am. An’ I’ve come to tell ya sommat. You’m gooin’ to ‘ave a babby.”
That shook Mary. “Doh be daft. I ay married.”
“That doh mek any difference. If God says yo’ll ‘ave a babby yo’ll ‘ave a babby an’ that’s it. Yo’ve gotta name ‘im Jaysus.”
“Well if yo say so I s’pose that’s it. I cor do anythin’ about it but me chap wo arf be surprised.”
When ‘ed gone Mary sat about for a bit an’ thought about it, then ‘er med ‘er mind up to go and see Elizabeth. So ‘er ‘ad a cup of char and med off to Juda.

When ‘er got there, Elizabeth was waiting at the gate an when ‘er saw Mary ‘er sed “I ay arf glad to see ya, but fancy yo comin to see we in yower state.”
Mary answered: “an angel come an sid me an I’m gooin to ‘ave a babby in December.”
They went into the ‘ouse an’ Elizabeth med a cup o’ tay. ‘Er told Mary that ‘er old man Zacharias, day believe ‘er when ‘er told ‘im about the babby and ‘e was speechless.
The chap what Mary was engaged to was called Joseph. When Mary told ‘im about the babby ‘er was ‘avin, ‘e day know what to think.
‘E said: “Yower mum wo arf kick up a chow row. ‘Er’s bound to blame me. An’ they wo’ arf rattle down our street. It ay good enough.”
Any road ‘e day get ‘is ‘air off an’ when ‘e went to bed that night an angel come to ‘im in a dream.
Soon after they was married Joseph came in and told Mary that ‘e ‘ad ‘ad a letter from the tax man saying they ‘ad got to goo to where they was born to be taxed.
“We gotta traipse all the way to Bethlehem next wick,” ‘e said.
Mary cut some sandwiches an’ packed a few cakes an opples. Then er med a bottle of tay (they day ave thermoses then!) an when they’d ad a daysent brekfust Joseph got the donkey out, put Mary on it and away they went.
“Cheer up our kid. It ay far now,” Joseph told er. “Yo can see the lamps of Bethlehem down the road. We’ll soon ave a rest. I shore be sorry neither. I keep gettin bricks and sond in me sandals.”
When they got into town Joseph knocked on the door of an inn an asked for a double room. The bloke wot answered said: “I cor elp yer. There’s that many on em ere they’m ‘avin’ to sleep in the passage.”
The next un was like it an all, but Joseph sed to the chap, “ain’t there nowhere we can goo? My missus is gonna ave a babby soon!”
The chap scratched is yed then e ad an idea. E said: “we cleaned the stable out after tea so it ay mucky. If I shift a couple of ‘osses and a camel, yo cud kip down theyer.”
Joseph day even bother to ask Mary. “We’ll tek it!”
In the night Mary woke Joseph and sed “the babby’s ere.”
Mary an Joseph wor arf proud. They ad a drink to wet is yed.
Up in the ills there was some shepherds lookin after the shayp. It was cold an they were sittin by the fire lettin the dogs do the werk while they ad sommat to eat an a smoke.

Suddenly the sky lit up like bonfire night an an angel come. They day know owt about angels an they were that frit they all fell on the ground.

“Yo’m a silly lot,” said the angel. “I shore urt yer. There’s a babby bin born in Bethlehem. Is name’s Jaysus an e’s God’s son. Goo an ave a look at im.”
Any road up they come in the town. One of em said: “It’s or right ‘im sayin we’ll find the babby in a stable, but they’m all over the place. We could be lookin’ for wicks.”
‘Is friend snapped at im. “Why doh yo shut yer moanin? Us two’ll look this side an yo pair look the other. It ai much use lookin in stables what’m shut. An if there’s a new babby they’ll a the light on.”

Then they ‘eard their mate’s whistle outside a stable. Someone whispered “doh mek such a clatter, we’m in ere.”
One knocked on the door and Mary called “come in”.
“Adoo Missus,” said the chief shepherd. “An angel towd us to come and see yer babby.”
While all this was gooin on three wise kings was in a country far away lookin at stars. One on em put down is telescope and said, ” I’ve funa star what wor there afore an it ay arf a big un.”
They went off to Bethlehem an all.
They took im some pressies.
They gid im the gold, frankinsense and myrrh.
Mary looked at the presents an said, “thank you they’m smashin. But I’ll kip em till e’s bigga if yo do mind.” The kings took off their crowns and bowed.
Then they all sed “Tarrah” an went all the way back wum.